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Everyone's A Little Bit Racist
(Avenue Q) - [Email Me the Lyrics]

Princeton: [spoken]Say Kate, can I ask you a question
Kate:[spoken] Sure
Princeton:[spoken] Well, you know Treky Monster Upstairs?
Kate:[spoken] Uh huh...
Princeton:[spoken] Well, he's Treky Monster and you're Kate Monster...
Kate:[spoken] Right...
Princeton:[spoken] You're both monsters,
Kate:[spoken] Yea
Princeton:[spoken] Are you two related?
Kate:[spoken] What?!?! Princeton, I'm surprised at you. I find that racist.
Princeton:[spoken] Well....I'm sorry, I was just asking.
Kate:[spoken] Well, it's a touchy subject! No, not all monsters are related. What are you trying to say, huh, that we all look the same to you?
Princeton:[spoken] No, no, no, no, oh no not at all. Oh, I'm sorry, I guess that was a little bit racist.
Kate:[spoken] I should say so. You should be much more careful when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race.
Princeton:[spoken] Well, look who's talking!
Kate:[spoken] What do you mean?
Princeton:[spoken] What about that special monster school you told me about?
Kate:[spoken] What about it?
Princeton:[spoken] Well could someone like me go there?
Kate:[spoken] No, we don't want people like you there!
Princeton:[spoken]hahaha, you see...[sung] you're a little bit racist.
Kate:[sung] Well, you're a little bit too.
Princeton: I guess we're both a little bit racist.
Kate: Addmitting it is not an easy thing to do.
Princeton: But I guess its true
Kate: Between me and you, I think
Together: Everyone's a little bit racist some times
Doesn't mean we go around commiting hate crimes
Look around and you will find
No one's really color blind
Maybe it's a fact we all should face
Everyone makes judgements...based on race

Princeton:[spoken] No not big judgement like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from
Kate:[spoken] No
Princeton:[spoken] Just little judgement like thinking that Mexican bus boys should learn to speak god damn english
Kate: Right!
Together: Everyone's a little bit racist today 
So everyone's a little bit racist...okay
Ethnic jokes might be uncool, but you laugh because they're based on truth
Don't take them as personal attacks
Everyone enjoys them....so relax!

Princeton:[spoken] Alright so tell me if you've heard this one, so there's a plane going down...
There's only one parachute, and there's a rabbi, a priest...

Kate:[spoken] ...and a black guy!
Gary:[spoken] What you talkin bout Kate?!?!?
Kate:[spoken] Uhhhh...
Gary:[spoken] You were tellin a black joke!
Princeton:[spoken] Well, sure Gary but lots of people tell black jokes.
Gary:[spoken] I don't!
Princeton:[spoken] Well of course you don't, you're black, but I bet you tell poloc jokes, right?
Gary:[spoken] Sure I do...haha those stupid polcs...Hahaha
Princeton: Now, don't you think thats a little racist?
Gary:[spoken] Well damn, I guess you're right.
Kate: You're a little bit racist....
Gary: Well you're a little bit too!
Princeton: We're all a little bit racist
Gary: I think that i would have to agree with you
Kate and Princeton: We're glad you do!
Gary: It's sad, but true!
Everyone's a little bit racist, alright

Kate:Alright
Princeton: Alright
Gary: Alright, a biggatree has never been exclusivly white
Together: If we all could just admit,
That we are racist a little bit
Even though we all know that its wrong
Maybe it would help us, get along!

Princeton:[spoken] Ahhh Christ do i feel good!
Gary:[spoken] Now there was a fine upstanding black man!
Princeton:[spoken] Who?
Gary:[spoken] Jesus Christ!
Kate:[spoken] But Gary, Jesus was white!
Gary:[spoken] No, Jesus was black.
Kate:[spoken] No, Jesus was white.
Gary:[spoken] No, I'm pretty sure Jesus was black
Princeton:[spoken] Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!
[They all laugh]
Brian:[spoken] Hey guys, what are you laughing about?
Gary:[spoken] Racism!
Brian:[spoken] Cool!
*Brian come back here, you take out these recyclabirds*
Gary:[spoken] Whats that mean?
Brian:[spoken] Umm, recyclables
[Everyone but Brian laughs]
Brian:[spoken] Hey don't laugh at her, how many languages do you speak?
Kate:[spoken] Oh, come off it Brian...[sung]
Everyone's a little bit racist

Brian:[spoken] I'm not!
Princeton:[spoken] Oh no? 
Brian:[spoken] Nope!
How many oriental wives have you got?

*What, Brian?*
Princeton: Brian buddy where you been, the term is Asian American
*I know you are no intending to be, by calling me orienterl...offencive to me!*
Brian:[spoken] I'm sorry, honey! I love you!
*And I love you*
Brian: But you're racist too!
*Yea, I know! The Jews have all the money, and the whites have all the power, and I'm always in taxi cabs with driver who no shower.*
Brian:[spoken] Yea, me too!
Kate:[spoken] Me too!
Gary:[spoken] I can't even get a taxi!
Together:
Everyone's a little bit racist, It's true
But everyone is just about as racist as you
If we all could just admit, that we are racist a little bit
and everyone stop being so PCed
Maybe we could live in harmony

*everyone's a little bit racist*

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Other Songs from Avenue Q
1.) There's A Fine, Fine Line
2.) Schadenfreude
3.) Everyone's A Little Bit Racist
4.) Avenue Q Theme
5.) It Sucks To Be Me
6.) If You Were Gay
7.) Unsophisticated Love
8.) Biagstvo
9.) Dancin' Man
10.) Do I Look Like A Slut?
11.) 2D2F
12.) Bang
13.) Donkey Punch
14.) Hey Boy
15.) O-tron
16.) Punk Rock Song
17.) Stick It In
18.) Chasing The Night
19.) Think Of You Later
20.) Spanish Eyes
21.) As You Are
22.) Come 'Round
23.) Dancing Shoes
24.) Everyday
25.) Falling
More Songs from Avenue Q

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